Below is a press announcement from ANT Financial:
Ever wish there was an easy way to tell if the friendly voice on the other end of the line was a sincere caller instead of a malicious fraudster with a hoax in mind? Or if that shady guy trying to offload a Swiss luxury timepiece in the alley for twenty bucks isn’t trying to pull a fast one?
Engineers hard at work in Alipay Technology Lab have knocked together a new smartphone to lay all these fears to rest, using the latest cutting-edge technologies that aim, above all, to sniff out (literally) the truth for all its users. Today, they’re finally ready to announce that they’re ready.
According to the hastily set-up product commercials, this Fraud-Busting intelli-Phone leverages artificial intelligence, blockchain, and all sorts of other cutting-edge (aka buzzwordy) technologies to bring anti-fraud, anti-counterfeiting, and anti-evil features that beggar belief. It’s like having Batman in your pocket.
For a start, the FBi-Phone integrates industry leading cognitive computing and pattern recognition capabilities to predict when an attempted fraudster is calling. If the fraudulent caller happens to also be a robot, our robot will attempt to engage it (or Her) in a seductive conversation while simultaneously alerting the police.
Using encryption algorithms, identity authentication, blockchain traceability, an array of visual-infrared-and-smell sensors, and all sorts of other techno mumbo jumbo, the FBi-Phone can also spot things that are fake and authenticate things that are not fake. Intensive independent third-party research by some scientists somewhere have proven how such technologies can actively sniff out whether things such as cooking oil, red wine, or that Swiss timepiece are genuine or counterfeit.
On the first day of April, when so many institutions are pushing their overworked and underpaid copywriters to come up with silly hoaxes that it has prompted one major Seattle-based company (not the coffee chain) to ban April’s Fools Day pranks, we think the FBi-Phone will surely add to this important debate.
As the Chief Engineer of our Phone-Making Division says: “People who are very good at technology, like me, must harness our superpowers to make good things. And this FBi-Phone is a very good thing. I hope it sells very well and I can retire early.”
The phone will be available for sale in all reputable telephone shops – someday.
Happy April 1st to all.